Plans if you have no plans for NYE

New Year Eve, like many other celebrations is over rated. Studies suggest (not really a study but an unbiased observation of self) that most people party on New Year's Eve out of the sheer peer pressure. Drinks, food, over-dessed people, loud music, drunk dancing, draining all your savings on an event you won't even remember cause you're gonna be sloshed..you will see enough evidences of your friend's partying and giving real time updates cause they wanna rub it on your face and say I AM HAVING SO MUCH FUN YOU LIKING/REACTING LOSER ON FB.

Nonetheless, ignore all that. Let me suggest the mechanism or tell you alternate plans that can help you cope with the not-partying-on NYE scenario.

Spend Quality Time With Your Family: Presuming the other family members don't have party plans as well. Sit, chat, have drinks, gossip, talk about politics and the youth that irresponsibly parties, etc. etc. You can volunteer to cook for the fam-jam or just order food from outside. Ask the pizza delivery guy to join as well for crying out loud. This way you earn some brownie points of having prioritized your family over lack of any plans whatsoever meaningless partying.

Shopping Therapy: Log in to your Flipkart/ Amazon/ Jabong/ Myntra or whatever online shopping website sails your boat. I'm sure they will have some discounts for the wee hours shoppers..you kinda see a trend of them celebrating and discounting on special ocassions. So fret not, treat yourself with some clothes or gadgets or whatever :)

DO NOT LOG INTO SOCIAL MEDIA ACCOUNTS: Never should you ever commit the terrible mistake of logging onto your social media accounts and being the spectator of crazy partydom. People are gonna go live, tag places, upload pictures and videos and what not. You don't wanna be liking or commenting or reacting to such flaunters and feel sad for yourself. You can log in and watch but why see flashy displays of people with happening life.

Watch A Movie: Infact, watch your favorite movie/movies(if time allows) or binge watch your favorite show. Lay on your LaZboy, make some popcorns and sip that soda. Enjoy in cozy confines of your room. I can bet its gonna be better than those partying.

Indulge in a Hobby: Play some guitar, sing by renting a karaoke, read some book, write some greetings..basically indulge in something you've always wanted to indulge in. If you run out of ideas, you can easily think of good comebacks when people ask you what you did for the new year. You can even blog about how to get rid of the new year hangover cause people partying certainly need that. *pens down the topic for next post*

Create your own party: There are going to be people who are sailing in the same boat as you...like those not partying. Call them over to your place and indulge in some like-minded conversations. Yes, talk that talk.

Do some good deed on the 1st: How about starting your new year early morning with a list of good deeds that you can do. One of my friend is donating blood, and that's a great use of the 1st day of 2017. It also makes it special and memorable. So your good deeds can range from distributing sweets in an orphanage, donating blood, distributing blankets to the homeless to giving your maid a weekend and doing your chores by yourself. Little pleasures of life, eh?

So fret not, its not mandatory to party all night, dance like crazies, and wake up with the worst hangover. Actually, that's not how you should be welcoming the new year. So break 'em stereotypes and create your own rules.

Also,

Christmas Gift Guide for Men

Christmas is just around the corner and so is the bemusement of buying an appropriate present for your family, coterie and friends (with or without benefit). If you happen to be a social animal, you shall socialize the most around the December end. More socializing means more presents to buy, of course in return of one. 

Buying Christmas presents can be a tough chore for you, since you are biologically repellant to shopping and have the innate ability to buy the same thing in different colors. We provide you the list of items that shall be an intelligent buy and an ideal present:

1. Food- What is Christmas without a cake? From the plethora of cake sizes, flavors and prices of the varied Christmas cakes, you can buy the one you want. Other eateries like cookies, chocolates, pastries and doughnuts are anyways a hit among people of all ages. You can gift baskets full of goodies; they will seem to be wholesome and sumptuous. Do consider the diabetics while deciding on buying a cake.

   

   Om Nom Nom

2. Clothes- As Christmas falls within the coldest time of the year, there are many clothes and accessories that you could gift. Clothes, preferably woolens, can be a good Christmas present. If you don’t want to invest on expensive winter clothing, hats, mufflers, caps, are some of the clothing accessories which shall be economical and adequate while presenting.

   

   Go for clothes that are same for all sizes

3.  Books and magazines- It is advisable to gift books and magazines, provided whomever you are gifting to, is educated. The books or magazines you intend to gift should be of the recipient’s interest. Like gifting an ‘Autocar magazine’ to a makeup aficionado is not such a good idea. You can gift bestseller novels, or even non best seller ones for they come cheaper. By gifting a book or a magazine of the reader’s interest, you not only are promoting education, but also bagging bulk discounts.

   

   Well? Read!

4. Beauty and Wellness- Nothing proves to be a better gift for a female other than a beauty product. The cosmetics work wonders for a female, and you instantly earn extra marks for being so considerate. You can gift cosmetic items like lipstick, lip glosses, mascara, a set of hair brushes, and the list is endless. And let me tell you, nothing makes a woman happier than a set of expensive fragrance. You can also gift wellness items like weight reduction items or the ones that reduce hair fall, in case the people under question suffer from these problems. Please note that one might find such wellness presents offending if you don’t share a comfort level with that person.

   

   Sniff!!

5. Music- You can buy CDs, MP3s and other music gifts. But gifts should be of the taste of the person you intend to gift it too. There are various music types like jazz, rock, country, etc. You can buy exclusive CDs relating to such music types of a particular band or limited compilation CDs, which have too much meaningful content. You can also gift a musical instrument if the recipient is interested in the same, and more importantly, you.

   

   Bas Bajna Chahiye Gaana

6. Electronics- If your budget permits you, you can buy the following electronics and gadgets for the people who are close to you ( Of course you don’t intend to spend a fortune on buying expensive gadgets for every person you know):

·        Tablets – Apple iPad, Samsung Galaxy, etc.

·        Laptops and Netbooks – HP, Dell, MacBook, Toshiba, etc.

·        Mp3 Players – Apple iPod, Microsoft Zune, etc.

·        eReaders – Kindle, Nook, Sony eBook, etc.

·        Cameras and Camcorders – Canon, Nikon, Kodak, Sony, etc.

·        TV's – Samsung, LG, Vizio, Sony, Toshiba, Panasonic, Philips, etc.

·        Blue-Ray Players – Sony, LG, Panasonic, etc.

·        Consoles and Video Games – Sony PS3 and PSP, Microsoft Xbox 360, Nintendo Wii and DS, etc.

                              Make sure you buy  a product that everyone has heard of. The price should not influence your decision, since you can’t ensure a good deal when you buy in half the market price, as when we say the buyer’s not a fool, the seller’s not a fool either.

Please compute the ROI before investing

7.   Beverages- Since you are going to drink anyways on a Christmas party, gifting beverages can be a sweet gesture. The plus point of presenting the beverage of your choice is that you don’t have to compromise on what you want to drink. A wide range of beverages for people of all ages and taste are available. From a vintage bottle of champagne to juices for kids, you can buy anything depending upon the taste and age of the recipient and of course your budget.

   

   Hic!!!

Ho!Ho!Ho!! Shop On Guys!!

Sona Kitna Sona Hai Is the Rhetoric Question of the Day!!

Government is surprising us left and right these days. And well, its amusing to see people who thought this investment was safe, that investment was safe to sit with a calculator and calculate corresponding taxes.

An Indian favorite, something that pleases your wife and is a public display of your wealth, some family heirloom, while some just coins waiting to be encashed in times of need. We are golden people, quite literally like Bappy Lahiri.

Gold Bina Chain Kahan Re

So, what now? Do we pay tax on all the jewelry we have in our bank lockers? or personal lockers? Or the ones we are currently wearing? Who will wear the jewelry when seized? To help you out with the questions, let's understand what the Government is actually saying:

No tax will be imposed on jewellery/gold purchased out of disclosed income. 

The disclosed income is one in your bank or the cash balance that you pay tax on..post disclosure. Jewelry can mean all sorts of jewelries..platinum, gold, diamond. They also mention gold separately because some people prefer buying gold with investment prospects- rich in bricks and poor in coins. It also includes exempted income and reasonable household savings. Obviously no woman saves around 5-10 lacks as household saving. The reasonability of a saving can be determined on the basis of the average household income that you have.

The Amended I-T Act will also not apply to tax ancestral jewellery and gold.

So you have rich ancestors or family heirlooms running from generation after generation. We have seen movies where the saas handing over the khaandani kangans to the bahu made us set daughter-in-law goals. So the ancestral jewelry would also not be covered under the Act, because we value the Indian culture of khandaani zevar!!

No seizure of gold jewellery up to 500 gm per married lady, 250 gm per unmarried lady and 100 gm per male in I-T searches.
The Government thinks that 500 gms(approx 15 lacs as per current rate) is adequate jewelry a married lady should own during her lifetime. Little do they understand that wearing the same jewelry to every family function would make them look so normal. Ostentatiousness runs in our blood and we like to flaunt. Nevertheless, the flaunting comes at a risk now. 

Some questions, that may arise, considering the financial paranoia we are waking up with these days. Let us understand this better:

Q: Is there a limit on the amount of jewelry one can hold or purchase?

A: No, there's no limit as long as the jewelry has been purchased from disclosed income, exempted income (like agricultural income), reasonable household savings and inheritance.

Q: How can the Government seize our gold?

A: The limits specified, namely 500 gms per married lady, 250 gms per unmarried lady and 100 gms per male are only applicable when any search proceedings are going on by the Income Tax department, which in other terms we also refer to as raid!! 

The search proceedings are initiated by the Government if the Authorized Officer is in possession of information that:

• You were served a summon u/s 131(1) or a notice u/s 142(1) to produce books of accounts or documents, and you failed to produce the same.
• If a summon u/s 131(1) or a notice u/s 142(1) is issued or might be issued, the officer believes you are not likely to produce or caused to be produced books of accounts or other documents relevant for such proceedings
• You are in possession of money, bullion, jewelry or other valuable article or thing and such property wholly or partly has not been or would not be disclosed.

Q: When a search is being conducted and its part of the family tradition to have that kind of jewelry, what then?

A: It is the discretion of the officer conducting the search not to seize higher quantity of gold jewelry based on factors including family customs and traditions.

So all those who rushed to the jewelers converting their black money into gold was a sane idea, who's laughing now?!

P.S. Have more questions. Post in the comments.

How to Avoid The "When Are You Getting Married" question #LikeABoss

The wedding season is on and so are the inquisitive levels of all the older women who are concerned about our single life. It is of immense importance to them to know what are your plans, so that they can share them over kitty parties with other women who even remotely know you. They have the questions that will not only crush your party plans, but also leave you introspect into your love life or the non-existence of any, and God Forbid, succumb vulnerably to their instant prospective matrimony options.

"When are you getting married?" "So now that you are settled, what next" "All the good grooms are being taken already" "Are You Lebanese?(Those who have seen Dear Zindagi would know)" are the questions that would be too personal to be brought up socially but there's no privacy with the aunties. So, Fret not and figure out the following options and emergency responses and chose what suits you well.

Harry Potter's Cloak of Invisibility 

See You Later Aunty Gator

Remember how Potter would avoid the bullies wearing the invisibility cloak? I found one on Amazon but don't know how well the product works. Tell me how it works ;)
https://www.amazon.com/Harry-Potter-Cloak-of-Invisibility/dp/B00421A5FS/ref=cm_cr_arp_d_product_top?ie=UTF8





Give Shocking Responses

So, you either can cry yourself to sleep affected by such questions or instead you can face those over dressed nightmares with upfront responses. The responses that shut them up. Sample responses, to be chosen at your own risk:

"I'm Living in instead, and its better"

"Still figuring out if he's really the one"

"His ring wasn't fancier enough, so I passed"

"He's not Husband material"

"Single and Having a Pringle"

"If you're giving me a fancy wedding gift, I'll contemplate the same"

These questions will make her fumble and she will flutter away like a heavily decked butterfly.

Ask Counter Questions

The best way to quieten certain people is asking them something further more embarrassing. They will probably avoid you thereafter. Sample questions, also add some extra dramatic expressions for added effect:

Super embarrassed but GOTS to SMILE

"And You're Asking That Because...?" 

"Your son passed that exam? He flunked once right?"

"You've been married for 25 years, how's it going" 

"Its amazing I don't even remember how I'm related to you and you're concerned about my marriage"

"Haven't you put on too much weight?"

"Is that jewelry real, like I'll not buy something like that for my wedding"

"Any rich lad in sight?"

Have fun with them

Offer to sit with them, for fulfilling their very desire of attention. 

Judge other people and ask about their POV on who's who, who's wearing what and they will want to get rid of you cause there are many other single women and men in the party whom they want to tie in the pious knot of matrimony. Also, need new gossip for the kitty party. 

Change the Topic

This is the good girl way out. Change the topic oh-so-nonchalantly that the aunty can't think past the compliments and you become her instant favorite, who knows if she actually has a Bruce Wayne in sight? Compliment her. Ask about her saree, her jewelry, where did she buy all that from, has she lost weight cause it looks like she did, she look half her age, she looks like her daughter's sister, etc. etc. She will forget about everything and answer you like its a narrative question in board exams.

This way you don't make enemies and earn some brownie points as well.

So go party and have a blast at your friend's, cousin's or whosoever's wedding you wanna have a blast at. Hope the above tips come handy. Though, new ideas are always welcome. :)

signs that she is cheating on you

Men have no exclusive franchise of cheating on their partners. Women, too, have the required incorrigible tendency to cheat on their mate, and be very well able to camouflage the same, effortlessly. With the instances of increasing infidelity in living beings as a whole, you might not always wish to hire a professional sleuth to track the veracity of your girl’s statements. Even the most intrepid thief leaves back some hint or the other at every crime scene. Read on to know ways of knowing if things are fishier than what they seem:

1.       Out of conversation- There have been days when you and her would talk through out the night till you hear the birds chirping, and now you are suddenly out of conversation. It’s not your fault. Guys are more of listeners than talkers, unless you are Navjot Singh Siddhu. Gals have an innate ability to make the conversation endless, or make the other person ending up feeling guilty of why he called. If she isn’t that participative or initiative the way she used to be, the probability of her finding a new chat mate are suddenly rocketed.

2.       Uncomfortable- She makes repulsive body gestures when you try getting close. Didn’t she like it when you whispered in her ear? And now all of a sudden she finds it lame and kiddish. She doesn’t even meet often. Hugs have become a far cry? Semi-hugs? Not even hand-shakes? You doubt if you are suffering from some terminal disease which only she’s aware of or you have developed some annoying body fragrance? There’s nothing wrong with you, it’s her.

3.       The number is busy- You don’t remember the last time you called her and her phone wasn’t busy. You either are kept waiting for unconventionally long time or not even that. Every time you ask her whom she was chatting with, the person at the other end of line is always a girl or a relative. She’s all blabbermouth with rest of the world, and out of conversation with you. This is insane. It’s definitely more than a girl-mate or a relative. It’s your competition.

4.       Escapades- She is all adventurous these days. From slumber party with the girls to rock climbing at a hill station, she’s doing it all. Sometimes it’s also an office party at a happening bar and you are only an MCP if you try digging for details. All you get to know is, she’s going and she could have asked you but you wouldn’t feel comfortable, i.e. she wouldn’t feel comfortable.

5.       Doubtfulness- Her behavior is nowhere near a healthy relationship. She snaps back whenever you unleash the inquisitive you. She looks at you in a way, as if saying, “Ask me no questions, and I will tell you no lies.” She pounces for rescue even if you try slyly checking her phone. She thinks you are too narrow minded when you ask her who all friends had she been partying with. She doesn’t let you extract even the vague details. She has something to hide. And you have something to find out.